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An Ex-WPC-Premie’s Story
An Ex-WPC-Premie’s Story
[Updated 2010 to answer some questions that I've been asked over the years, and to bring the journey up to date and add a little more information.]
I found this web site in December of 1998 and felt that I had to write this - as much for my own satisfaction as anything - and also perhaps to put a few things into the record that might otherwise be lost. The following is as accurate as I can remember. I think that the dates are pretty much correct and the events are all more or less in the right order. Writing this down now it seems a lot more intense and convoluted than I remember it at the time but updating this account some ten years later, in my minds eye, I can walk back in time and still vividly recall all of the events.
Oxford - November 1971 - Just before my 19th birthday I moved into lodgings in Oxford, to attend the Oxford Polytechnic, and was introduced to Gillian Rosenburg by Sue Day, the daughter of the landlady and who became a good friend over many years. Gill was 16, Jewish, smart and very pretty with straight dark hair and a vivacious personality. Her father was a Physics lecturer at Oxford University and her parents lived in Summertown, a very nice area of Oxford.
Sue thought I might be interested in Gill as she had just returned from London after visiting a Guru and now talked about nothing else. Sue and I had become friends and talked - she knew that I had been fascinated by India since I was a young child and briefly “dated” an Indian girl before I moved to Oxford. So, with her encouragement, I started seeing Gillian, and her group of friends.
Gill did indeed talk about nothing else other than Guru Maharaj Ji and had received “Knowledge” a week or so prior to my meeting her. After a few weeks I visited the London ashram with Gill and attended satsang with her. We stayed with my cousin at his rooms at the London School of Economics and returned to Oxford the next day carrying copies of various pieces of literature on Maharaj Ji and the Family. There was no ashram in Oxford at this time and I think the London ashram was probably the only one in England.
I was doing my first year at the Architecture School at Oxford Polytechnic and Gillian was in her final year at the local High School with exams to sit the following summer. Neither of us could afford to do anything other than return to school although Satsang at the time was advocating that everyone should leave whatever they were doing and move into Ashrams.
However, one week later on a Saturday, Gill and I returned to the London ashram and attended Satsang again throughout most of the day. In the early evening I, and about ten other people, received Knowledge from Mahatma Guru Charananda in a small room in the ashram. I was just twenty years old and this was my second visit to the ashram - basically I sat in the room with other supplicants most of the day listen to satsang and raised my hand when someone walked into the room in the early evening and asked, "Who would like to receive knowledge?" - it was that informal.
To this day I remember that evening - the look in the Mahatmas eyes and the quiet way that he talked to us about the futility of performing tricks to demonstrate ones spirituality. He seemed very tired and old yet his eyes bit into me whenever he looked at me. I knew that we were supposed to have attended Satsang for at least six months before getting the “Knowledge” and yet here I was and I didn’t even know who Maharaj Ji was a month ago. I got the Knowledge partly out of my own curiosity, and partly because I wanted to see what it was that Gill found so fascinating about this. I didn't feel that waiting another six months would change the way that I felt and no one asked me how long I'd been attending the ashram.
1972 - Gill and I started dating seriously in January of the following year, consummating the relationship in February or March. She continued to live at home and I stayed in lodgings on the other side of the city. We both continued visiting the London ashram until the Oxford ashram started up. Neither one of us could become ashram premies although we were both told that our aims should be to join an ashram. But we both had exams in the early summer of that year, I was still in digs and she lived with her parents. We took our exams and both did pretty badly from what I can remember. It didn’t seem too important at the time and I'd already decided that by the time I graduated from college there were going to be way more architects than jobs.
After her school term ended Gill left home and we both moved into a room in a shared house that she had found in Cowley - with Laura and Mary, two other premies that Gill had met. Oddly enough, the other occupants of the house were a couple of university hippies that I had known and been hanging around with at the Polytechnic while they attended St. Peters college in Oxford. It was a very relaxed house, we had our own room and everyone shared a bathroom and kitchen - occasionally sharing meals - generally macrobiotic cooking - and listening to "Exile on Main Street" which was released early in the summer.
That summer, the trip to India for the Hans Jayanti festival was announced at the local ashram and both Gill and I decided that we would go - so we started saving money for it. We spent most of the summer working, me on various construction sites while the three girls worked in a Health Food shop which didn’t pay too much but provided plenty of free food for the table. When we weren’t in bed or working, we were at the ashram and by November we had saved enough money to get two tickets to India to the Hans Jayanti Festival in November. It's worth noting that we were regularly attending the Oxford ashram at this time and I don't ever remember then, or at any other time, being asked for money - the local ashrams were supported entirely by the premies living in the ashram. Visitors, whether first timers or regulars like us, were never asked for money although we often gave an offering.
In November Gill and I flew out to the Hans Jayanti festival on one of the seven 747 jumbo jets chartered for the event and landed in Delhi after a stop in Bahrain to refuel. Arriving in Delhi, we were put on buses to the festival site and, on arriving, separated from each other - the men at one end of the campground and women at the other. I rarely saw Gill except occasionally when we were queuing for meals. It was my first trip outside England and I found the difference between the drab winter countryside that I had left in England, and the Delhi campground, overwhelming at first. Attending Satsang and meditation became a very real escape from the pressure of the changes in my life while I was there.
After the festival we were all put into buses, with all our belongings tied on top, and driven 200km (which took about 24 hours) to the ashram at Dehradun which was north of Delhi, and closer to the foothills of the Himalayas. The town was not large and the ashram was just outside in the countryside and very beautiful. Premies were sleeping just about everywhere throughout the building. Basically at night you found somewhere to unroll a sleeping bag and slept in the open air, under the stars. I think that we stayed out there with Maharaji Ji for 7 to 10 days, mostly listening to satsang in the evening and Dehradun via rickshaw during the day.
During this time I got sick with dysentery and was introduced to the local Indian herbal medicine which cured each attack very effectively. I suffered from repeated attacks of this for several years after returning to England and each time the medicine cured it instantly. I still have the compound (crushed dried leaves from the look of it and have I no idea what's in it). I met Stuart (who sold me the cure), another premie from Oxford who taught me a lot about herbal medicine and meditation. I discovered that meditation can either cure or eradicate almost all of the symptoms of a lot of minor diseases. I stayed friends with Stuart, keeping intermittently in touch until he disappeared in the Hindu Kush when the Soviets invaded Afghanistan in 1979.
After two to three weeks in India we returned to England - Gill immediately announced that she was going to become an ashram premie and within two or three weeks left for London. Although heartbroken, I did not attempt to stop her and she left in December. I figured that any attempt to dissuade here would alienate her and I could not let myself believe that this was permanent. At that time, anyone wanting to join an ashram had to first go to the London headquarters where they would be interviewed and then assigned to an ashram. They were never sent back to the city that they came from or anywhere where they had lived before.
1973 - About three or four weeks later I got a letter from Gill saying that she was living in the Brighton ashram and so I went down to see her. She seemed very happy but somehow whenever I talked to her it seemed that she was in a different world. After visiting her a couple of times I have lost contact with her although I wonder where she went. I heard that she remained in the ashram system though the closings and continued as a premie afterwards. Since posting this "journey" I've heard from her - I believe that she's remained a practicing "ashram" style premie although her life, by all accounts after we separated became far more turbulent than mine. In retrospect I think my relationship with her (as my first true love) and my vain hopes to restore our relationship, influenced much of what happened to me in the next few years.
I remained in Oxford, living pretty much of a monk like existence and working on various construction sites. Then in March I hitchhiked down to London and volunteered to join an ashram. I was interviewed by Glen Whittaker and then sent to the Exeter ashram were I worked helping gather stuff for garage sales while I looked for a job. Almost everyone at the ashram was required to work in one form or another. Those who did not hold regular paying day jobs, worked collecting and organizing jumble sales (garage sales). These sales had all the appearance of casual sales to benefit a small charity but they bought in a large amount of money on a weekly business, all completely untaxed - this was sent to the DLM in London on a regular basis. The ashram expenses were funded locally from the wages of ashram premies.
After about a month we were visited by someone from the London ashram who announced the formation of the World Peace Corp (WPC) by Raja Ji, Maharaji Ji’s brother, some time earlier. I was getting fed up with the ashram premies who seemed to be a very complacent and sleepy bunch and my letters to Gill remained unanswered. I left the ashram with him and traveled back to London to join the WPC since they seemed to be a lot more interesting than the ashram premies. I don't think that the ashram was sad to lose me and I was happy to go.
Back in London, I moved into a house in East Dulwich in South London and, having some electronics experience, was immediately sent to work at nearby Dolby Corporation where I worked testing Dolby A noise reduction systems which were used in all of the recording studios at that time. It was pretty boring work but it bought in good money and intellectually it was fun figuring out how the Dolby A units worked. Eventually some questions were raised when someone in the personnel department noticed that they had about six unrelated people working for them who all lived at the same address!
In fact this was just the tip of the iceberg since we actually had more than fifty people sleeping in the house at one point. Food was provided by Teresa who more or less ran the house and provided cooking, sewing and laundry services to everyone. She ran the house very well, the sexes were segregated and everyone seemed pretty much spiritually and mentally together. There was never much room in the WPC for any small affairs or misbehavior. Everyone seemed to realize this and worked well together - the penalty for any major infraction in WPC life was simple, the offender was expelled from the WPC - but it was rare that this happened.
You'd think that this environment, both here and later at the Reigate House, would have offered some opportunity for sexual affairs between members of the WPC but in all of the time I was in the WPC I never saw or heard of any evidence that they happened within the WPC. We generally lived as virtuously as monks and nuns - although I suspect we were considerably better fed - generally a healthy vegetarian diet and usually as much as you wanted.
In addition to the house that we lived in, the WPC had a large workshop close by (The Factory) that later became the Transport offices. This provided free support services to the DLM for anything technical or mechanical. The trucks and vans that the DLM used were serviced here and recording and video support for the larger Satsangs in London was all organized from these offices.
In July we worked at the "Festival of Love" at Alexandra Palace and I spent most of the time in the control tower working the sound system for the event. Meditation and other tricks that I’d learnt over the years came in handy as most of the crew organizing the event got perhaps two hours of sleep each day for about a week. We topped off this with meditation in the van on the way to the event and on the return journey each day but we worked to the point of exhaustion and beyond during the festival.
At the end of the Festival of Love we were burnt out, physically and mentally, but learnt that we’d worked well enough that almost the entire WPC members would be sent to Houston, Texas to provide support services for the November Hans Jayanti Festival (the Millennium Festival) which was to be held outside India for the first time ever.
So once more back to work outside the house to earn money for the trip. We never saw any of the money as we handed our pay packets (we were paid in cash) to the WPC each week. In exchange the house provided shelter, friendship, plenty of food and an almost limitless opportunity to work - often with responsibilities and goals that we would never have been entrusted with in the normal workplace world but there was very little free time there.
Airplane tickets were purchased and most of the people in the house flew out to Houston on what I assume was a chartered flight a few days before the festival started and housed at a hurriedly constructed open air camp in an industrial area in South Houston. I was assigned to help a couple of American premies who were trying to build a laser show to write Guru Maharaj Ji’s name in the sky with a laser. It was a neat project but the control system technology wasn’t quite up to handling the project. It was about 10 years ahead of it's time and they never did get it working in time for the show - the basic mechanics worded fine but this was pre-microprocessor days and the control electronics never worked fast enough to create a steady image. These days it's easy to do the whole thing with software - but we didn't have software (at least, software on computers that we could afford). As a result, we were soon pulled off the project and assigned to help the security on the Astrodome.
We quickly found that most of the security services were being coordinated with CB radios and the local Houston red necks had figured out which bands they were using and were causing quite a bit of trouble. We started pulling in all the CB radios which had separate transmit and receive crystals and swopped the transmit and receive crystals. Thus moving most of the radios just out of the standard CB bands so that the transmissions couldn’t be intercepted. This slowed them down for a day or so until they figured out what we'd done but they either failed to duplicate our hack or else got bored and turned their attentions elsewhere.
The Astrodome show was fun but everyone stayed very professional and on the watch for trouble. The only incident that I recall was some locals putting sugar in the fuel tanks of some of the cars at the local ashram one night. We mainly slept in the open-air at a local site a few miles from the dome and ate whenever food appeared - whoever did the overall organization of the WPC in Texas did a fine job.
1974 - I returned to London after the Astrodome show. The East Dulwich house was reorganized and everyone with any electronics experience was put to work opening a hi-fi shop in South London. This was an old restaurant which the WPC purchased. Most of the technical services were moved into this shop which we renovated. The downstairs was a regular commercial operation with a hi-fi repair shop above and sleeping accommodations for the staff on the top floor.
Most of the money to set this up came from one Premie who had moved down from the North (Leeds I think) who had run a similar shop before becoming a Premie. It seemed to me that he was slowly stripped of every asset that he had to support the creation of the shop. He seemed happy with this and it didn’t seem my place to wave flags. I worked with the other technicians, on a number of products, including a digital clock and metal detectors, as well as making both audio and video tape recordings some of the DLM shows - using reel to reel video tape recorders - state of the art at that time.
Then, one day a request came in from Raja Ji for some miniature radio transmitters. We built a couple of prototypes but were never told what they were to be used for. Each transmitter and microphone fitted into a box of matches, so it was pretty clear that someone was being bugged. I was the "expert" on small radio transmitters since I'd had some radio-control experience and had built small FM band transmitters before - there was another guy there who worked for a local TV repair company and the two of us built several transmitters with microphones and batteries that were small enough to be hidden in a bar of candy, a pack of cigarettes, or a box of matches.
At this point the split between the WPC and the DLM became more open. The WPC premies looked down on the ashram premies as lazy, while the WPC premies usually worked very hard. The ashram premies looked down on the WPC as a bunch of Gestapo types who never meditated. We didn’t care what the ashram premies thought of us. The WPC was basically a tool for Raja Ji to use and direct as he saw fit, and we were generally closer to the Family than any of the ashram premies.
About this time Raja Ji rented or leased a house on Colley Hill, overlooking Reigate in Surrey as a retreat for Maharaji Ji and the Family, as the Highgate House in North London was becoming too well known, and they were having problems with the neighbors and with security. Although this was presented as Maharaji Ji's house, it effectively moved Maharaji Ji under Raja Ji roof since this was a WPC financed enterprise, completely paid for by WPC premies working locally, and at the WPC houses in London. The WPC always seemed to be carefully budgeted as, although there was a lot of money coming in from the working WPC premies, there were large weekly expenditures for the food, housing, vehicles and equipment expenses. Teresa moved here together and was joined by Delia (I had thought that Delia lived with us at the Dulwich house but Teresa has since assured me that she joined us at Reigate) and another girl who's name I can't remember. Together they ran the house efficiently, with great humor and made sure that everyone stayed in line. Teresa has contacted me since I first posted this (I ran into both Teresa and Delia some years later in London) and the one thing I remember about Teresa was that she was always able to laugh and joke about whatever was happening at the time, while Delia was lighthearted and pretty, but took no nonsense from anyone.
A few of us were moved from the shop to the basement in the Reigate House to set up a “Skunk Works” where we built more miniature transmitters and microphones that were used to bug the DLM headquarters. The DLM had purchased an old Movie Theater in East Dulwich and the WPC was used to renovate it. One team worked during the day alongside ashram premies doing the renovations, and at night another team of WPC premies installed microphones throughout all the offices in the building - even putting microphones in the bedrooms. For the most part the microphones were hidden in ceiling lights and electrical outlets. All the microphones were hard-wired with the cables run back to a small secret room built into the back of the projection room at the theater where someone monitored them 24 hours a day with a bank of reel-to-reel tape recorders running. The tapes were bought back to Reigate each night and transcribed for Raja Ji who would show any interesting items to Maharaj Ji.
When you worked in the WPC, you lived very much like a premie - and interactions between different levels in the WPC seemed to mirror the order that I'd seen in the Ashrams. As I was simply a worker, I would be assigned tasks with very little real information about why we were being asked to build something. Sometimes we'd simply be asked if something was possible - we never knew in detail if this was going to be a toy for Maharaj Ji (the gold plated antique "candlestick" phone for example) or there was some other use. I suspect that the first miniature radio microphone was built simply for Raja Ji's amusement because there was a delay of several months between building the first one and building the rest of them. But I was never at a level within the WPC where I actually knew why things were being done - someone would come down from upstairs and ask, "Is such and such a thing possible?" - occasionally Raja Ji would come down and ask the questions but most of the time it would be someone else and we'd generally figure out what was possible and what was not. We asked questions of course but it was rare that we got anything other than answers that were directly related to what we were asked to do.
As far as the reasons for the bugging, we were told that Raja Ji felt that the DLM was influencing Maharaj Ji - basically that the DLM was saying one thing to him and doing another - and the tapes were apparently used to prove this on several occasions. One incident that I remember had to do with finances - apparently the DLM were taking in more money than there were reporting to Maharaj Ji but usually it was simply that they'd tell Maharaj Ji one thing and then do something different. I can't say that Maharaj Ji definitely knew that the theater was bugged but we all believed, based on some of the things that were said during one of Raja Ji's visits to the downstairs lab, that Maharaj Ji and Raja Ji were both very interested in the information that the bugging was producing - and we were never told not to tell Maharaj Ji about the operation. We assumed that Maharaj Ji knew - I don't think anyone in our group even considered the possibility that he didn't know.
It's worth noting that, as far as I know, the WPC did not have any people working within DLM and spying on the DLM from within the DLM organization - but we were very cautious about newcomers from the DLM who wanted to join the WPC. We were told that there were several attempts by the DLM to place people in the WPC who could tell Glen what we were doing. Most of the time these "moles" were easy to spot and left after a couple of weeks because nobody would talk to them.
This went on for quite a while - I can't remember exactly how long but it would have been about a year I think, possibly a little longer. In the end it got to the point where Glen and the other people running DLM started to get very jumpy because Raja Ji and the WPC always seemed to know exactly what was going on at the DLM. This is always the problem with covert intelligence - once you know what the other party is saying it tends to affect your own actions - which eventually will give the game away. In the end, the entire operation became routine - with far too many people getting a glimpse of the "product" even though the number of people who knew how it was obtained was probably fewer than 10. I've been asked why I was the person seeing and doing these things and honestly, I don't know - it just happened that way, although I may have simply been seen as someone who didn't talk.
It all came to an end one day when I was doing the usual run to deliver fresh tapes and collect the day’s take. I was up in the control room when the tape operator sat up and started pulling all the tapes off the machines and said that we had to get out now - he's been monitoring one of the Mahatmas talking to Glen and heard them discover a microphone hidden in the room. We grabbed all the tapes, went down the fire-escape at the back of the theater and piled them into a car and took off. As we left we could see several people standing around outside looking at the think bundles of cables that lead up to the recording room - in all the time that we'd been doing this there had been no attempt to camouflage any of the cables on the outside of the building that carried the microphone signals back to the tape recorders. We had effectively been hiding in plain sight.
I don't know how many rooms were monitored, but, given the WPC's habit of leaving as little to chance as possible, it was probably most of the rooms. I know that we had microphones in all of the bathrooms and that we could basically follow anyone of interest from room to room - I sat there and listened to them do this on one occasion. As we drove away, passing the front of the Theater with the tapes covering the back seat of the car, we saw Glen and one of the Mahatmas outside looking at all the wiring on the outside of the building and following it back to the projection room. I don't know what happened after that but I never saw any of the equipment that we had used there again.
I stayed at the Reigate House for a few more months while the storm between the DLM and the WPC rolled over our heads. There was little to do at that time, but the location of the house was beautiful and with almost unlimited free time I wandered the local countryside exploring the woods and pathways. Then one day in late summer I packed everything that I owned into a rucksack and just walked away from the Reigate house and never returned. I did re-visit the area about a year later with another former premie to show her where Maharaj Ji lived. My knowledge of the woods from my time there allowed me to walk up through the country and stroll around - there wasn't much to see at that time but the house was clearly still occupied with the usual WPC people wandering around. I don't remember a formal guard on the house but certainly when I was there there were usually a few WPC folk hanging around at the front of the house - all premies who had served in the armed forces at one time or another. They never said very much and kept themselves to themselves - our paths crossed at the main gate only.
After leaving Reigate, I returned to Oxford and moved in with some old friends there and quickly found a job on the construction sites to pay the bills while I started to rebuild my life. I attended Hatha Yoga classes at the local further education centers in Oxford and started getting involved with human relationships again. I had always been friendly with Naomi, Gills younger sister, and the two of us formed a very solid platonic friendship based that lasted for several years. She had little interest in “dating” anyone and I was definitely not ready to get emotionally or sexually involved for a couple of years so we pretended to be boyfriend and girlfriend which kept the women off me and the boys off her. Time and good friends heal a lot of things - I've stayed intermittently in touch with Naomi over the years and think of her as a very friend - one of the very few people from my life at this time that I still know. I have kept fond memories of her sister Gill, my first Love, but I still don't know how I would feel to see her again - this is my weakness and not her fault in any way. Gill had to follow her heart where it lead her, and I can not find any fault in her for that.
Since then I’ve moved to the USA and have lived here now for more than thirty years - working with computers and medical electronics for the most part. I am happy with my life. I have learned to accept the things I can not change and history is one of those. I still meditate from time to time but haven’t met a premie in about twenty five years now although I now get emails from people via this site. Until I found the ex-premie.org website I had no idea what had happened to the DLM or Maharaj Ji, although I had heard about the ashram closings shortly after it occurred.
One of the perpetual criticisms that was leveled at the WPC, during the time I was in both the ashrams and later working in the WPC, was that we were not real devotees because we did not meditate. I can’t talk for every WPC member, but everyone that I knew spent time meditating or trying to meditate. However, it was always an “as time and work permits” and everyone worked very hard. Anyone who didn’t want to work was welcome to return to an ashram. I don’t remember any of the WPC members being the regular ashram types, most of them were highly motivated individuals - although they may, like me, have been lacking a direction before they joined the WPC.
Whether a conscious decision or not, the WPC was a vehicle to keep people in the ashram system who would otherwise have left the organization. But, as far as Knowledge and Meditation went, I know that there were many nights when I did my meditation and fell asleep. Many of the people in the WPC house worked 16 to 18 hour days for long periods when there was something that needed to be done - whether for Raja Ji or Maharaj Ji. Meditation while you worked was encouraged. Meditation simply for show was not. With the exception of very occasional visits to Oxford to see friends (who I kept throughout the whole period) and my parents in Rugby, I worked full-time for the WPC for about three years.
It was always my feeling that Maharaj Ji lost control of the organization after the DLM took control in England and the whole thing started to resemble something out of Lord of the Rings. Some of the mahatmas and the organizers behind the DLM seemed to have totally lost touch with the premies in the streets and the ashrams and became gray people. The WPC never had an agenda that I was aware of - we were simply Raja Ji's arm and did whatever he needed done - and didn't ask questions or give advice unless asked. But in the end, the WPC became just another faction in the disputes and arguments between the various members of the Family and their creation, the Divine Light Mission. But what do I know? I was just a small stone in the road and can talk about only those events in which I was actually involved.
You might wonder what I did about money while I was in the WPC. Most of the premies that I knew in the WPC had a little money put aside - five or ten pounds perhaps, but for most of us money didn't exist as a day to day need. The WPC provided room and board and so we had no use for money in our day to day lives. We didn't have credit cards or bank accounts of any form and, if we needed a small amount occasionally we could just ask and a few pounds would be provided from petty cash if, for example, you were hitch-hiking to see your parents for a few days - typically I visited my parents at Christmas and then two or three times during the year - looking back (and with a child of my own now) I'm impressed with their acceptance and tolerance. They fed me and clothed me during these visits but other than asking if I was happy, never pressed me for "plans for the future" or criticized my actions or choices.
Generally the premies who working in the outside world had more access to money than I did and most of them would share a few pounds if there was a need. In addition, a visit home would often mean a few pounds from my parents, "just in case." But for the most part, the WPC premies had little to do with the financial system - we didn't draw unemployment compensation, and either worked in the outside world handing their pay packets to the WPC each week, or else disappeared inside the WPC. I doubt that more than a fifty pounds passed through my hands throughout the entire time that I spent in the WPC.
I was never personally worried about the differences between my life and that of the Family - even though, at times in Reigate, only a few feet separated us. It seemed irrelevant at the time and largely still does. Please don't think that I'm describing an exciting secret life in Guru Maharaj Ji's organization - day to day life in the WPC was generally uneventful and peaceful. I don’t have any message for anyone involved in the current incarnation of the DLM other than, if you remember me, you’re welcome to write if you wish - or if there's anything here that raises a question.
I regret nothing and if I had my time over again I am not sure that I would change anything. But I have no desire, or need, to repeat the time again. I still meditate whenever I need to. I breathe, laugh, cry and joke as the situation suits and I'm at peace with my life.
After living in the United States for many years as a resident alien, I became a US citizen and a registered voter in 2009. My wife (born and raised in Louisiana) is a United Methodist and so we attend church on Sundays and I am happy to join in. My daughter was baptized in church, and I was happy and proud to stand in front of the congregation. I don’t have a problem with any conflicts over what I believe, or disbelieve, in.
Nowadays I try to be an ordinary man, older and wiser (perhaps). I am no longer looking for the Truth. I think that I found it in an old mans eyes in a small room in London all those years ago. But I still can’t describe it.
Jai satchitananda - what a long strange trip it’s been.
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